"Growing Up"

Growing up.

What exactly does that mean? Growing taller? (If that's the case, I'll never get there!)

On a more serious note, these last few weeks I have been coming to a realization that I may never get there - the Grown-Up World. I have always relied on my parents to have the final say, to make the difficult decisions, and to approve or disapprove of my actions, even before I go through with them.

Of course I've made my own choices, but on smaller matters. Sure, I've made mistakes and I've learned from them. But that's a part of life, learning and growing stronger. But what if I've been so sheltered that I don't know how to make bigger decisions? I feel like I haven't been prepared for the "real world".

So I've been thinking, when will I break free from all this? I'm not saying I don't appreciate my parents looking out for me, keeping an eye on me, making sure I stay on track, with life. Life. But I think I'm finally ready for adulthood. I'm ready for the responsibility of fending for myself, making those bigger decisions. I guess by bigger decisions, I mean life-altering ones.

Since I'm the oldest, I feel as though my parents are hesitant of letting me go. And I understand that that is hard, but speaking up about it, I feel much better. I just hope that I didn't hurt them by letting them know what I want. They will always be there for me, but there are things that they just can't always have control of.

I say I'm ready, but am I really? Put me out there, and I'll see. That will be the real test.

To be safe, I'll take baby steps. but what I really want to do is leap...

The bird is leaving the nest, and I'm ready to fly.